Have you ever noticed that women of a certain age do this type of body shuffle whenever there's a dance floor?
I call this The Mum Dance. It's a kind of two-step bop - one step to the right then the middle, then repeated on the left side. Sometimes there's a spin every 8 bars or so, sometimes a finger point. Invariably there is a "woo" and a clap on the 1 & 3. I think you all know what I'm talking about. The appearance of this phenomena is often found at local RSLs when a Cold Chisel cover band is playing, school discos and family birthday parties
I don't do the Mum Dance.
This may alarm you, but the Mum Dance has invaded cruise ships. When combined with the Nut Bush, Macarena and the Time Warp, what ensues is quite a sight to behold. Add the motion of the ocean and you may NEVER erase the memory. Shudder.
Now, you may think this is scary enough on its own - but wait, shield yourself for my next revelation. There is a counterpart to this monstrosity, and it's far, far worse.
The Dad Dance.
What makes the Dad Dance even more hideous is the fact that the male members of the species forget they are past mid-life. Their dance is a combination of hugging the closest male and doing a headbanging jumping-up-and-down jig (it's always a good idea to move your little offspring a good distance off the dance floor or else they might get trampled) and 1980s breakdancing moves: The Electric Wire, The Robot and of course, The Caterpillar. Many a time I have witnessed a 40-something man try to execute this move. 100% of the time, it resembles floundering fish and results in a hamstring injury.
On every cruise, I've begged my husband to dance with me. Every single time he refuses. I'm not sure why, I reckon I'm a pretty good dancer.
This does not dissuade me though, as I usually drag one of my girls up to dance. Among the eye rolls and "Mum, you're embarrassing!", I'm sure they're having a good time. Once I've exhausted all three, I usually just sidle up to whoever is on the dance floor and hijack their fun.
So, the point of this post is kind of a warning. If I make eye contact with you, and there's music, be prepared to "Shake what yo Mumma gave you".
So, the point of this post is kind of a warning. If I make eye contact with you, and there's music, be prepared to "Shake what yo Mumma gave you".
FOUR SLEEPS AND COUNTING!
P.S Where's the best place to dance on the Spirit?
P.P.S If you're brave enough, you'll challenge me to a Dance Off!
