My first-born started high school yesterday. I've written her this letter - but it's really for me.
"To my daughter starting High School,
It is almost unimaginable that you’re starting High School today, but here you stand before me, not quite a teen but definitely no longer a child.
It’s almost inconceivable that you’re dressed in the same uniform I wore – was it really 27 years ago? - and yet I helped you do up the buttons on your tunic despite you swatting my hands away.
Your eyes are bright and eager, but I see a flicker of nerves cast a minuscule shadow over them – a tell-tale sign only your mother can see.
Every cell in my being aches to walk alongside you as you pace those halls as I once did, but I fight back tears as I know you’ll do it alone. And I know you can do it on your own.
If I can share with you a few secrets - if only you’ll listen - but you’ll probably laugh them off . I will tell them to you anyway, knowing that my words will live in a tiny crevice in your memory, something for you to reach out to if need be.
But you’re bright and smart and funny and beautiful and full of light. You won’t need me. You’ll be just fine.
You stand next to me, your head just under my shoulder, and I wonder where that 5-year-old starting kindy who just reached my hips has gone? “I’ve just grown up mum,” she tells me, giggling, dropping off the ‘-my’.
Don’t worry about fitting in, you weren’t meant to. In fact no-one was. Be yourself and like-minded souls will gravitate towards you. I wish I knew this truth when I was 11. Please believe me.
As you walk into your new life, I’ll be with you. As I head over to the car to sit for a few hours until I can collect you, I’ll close my eyes and imagine you discovering new classrooms, teachers, friends and, most importantly, yourself.
My daughter, as you start high school, my wish is for you to be happy, to flourish and to mature. It won’t be easy, but this will be one of the most exciting and challenging years you’ve ever had. Cherish every moment and dare to live your dreams. Never limit yourself; this is your time to shine.
Soon enough, I won’t be able to measure you against my body. You’ll pass my shoulders just as you grew past my hips. And you’ll grow past me, standing proudly, with your head held high.
And that’s exactly where you should be."
Sleep. That elusive five-letter word that I literally dream about with my eyes OPEN (yes I realise that sentence does not make sense).
But seriously, my kids are the worst sleepers. In the last 11 years and 9 months, I can honestly say I have not slept one night through. I have three beautiful daughters (born in 35 months) who are nocturnally challenged.
However, being aboard the Eden has sparked an odd phenomenon. My children are falling asleep at odd times and places. At dinner, during live music, even under the tables. Maybe they're over tired or over bored (I just resisted another pun). I think it is the rocking motion. Whatever it is, it's quite strange! My husband is contemplating mounting our house on a giant cradle or installing hammocks instead of beds.
P.S They haven't been ordering cocktails behind my back.